This afternoon, as part of an effort to get my kid out of the house and help bribe him to get a haircut, I took him to a large local mall that has a big ass play area. As part of the mall’s expansion, they put in a decent sized play area just off the food court. It is fenced in with cubbies for shoes and wrap around benches for parents. The floor has a little squish to it, and there are lots of things to climb on, over, and through (see photo of said place above). I have come to take the boy here on inclement weather days. Too hot, too cold, too rainy - whatev. Although the mall is a bit of a shlep from our house, it has multiple things going for it, including a kids salon where he can be distracted by a DVD while getting his hair cut and a Borders that has a Thomas train table.
After the hair cut we headed upstairs where, to call it “organized chaos,” doesn’t even come close. It was packed with kids - running, screaming, knocking into each other - the works. Luckily, after about 10 minutes it thinned out a bit - but still - just nutso. One kid in particular stood out. She was wearing a bright pink shirt, matching leggings, and was screeching at the top of her lungs periodically. She looked to me a little older than some of the other kids, and certainly taller, but not by that much on both counts. She always seemed to be in the way. Sitting at the top of the slide and not getting out of the way to let other kids pass. Sitting on the floor at the bottom of the slide so kids couldn’t get down. Laying on one of the big toy blocks that the kids like to jump on. You get the picture. But honestly? I was more concerned about my kid.
I always try to sit in the center, so that I can keep a general eye on where he is. But with so many kids and parents walking around, that can be hard to do sometimes. So I do my best, and I don’t panic if I lose him for a few seconds, because my view is blocked by someone else, or he is behind a large thing waiting his turn to go over/under. But that one girl in the pink shirt, she seemed to be everywhere.
And then, the next thing I knew, she walked right up to me. And put her hands on my shoulders. I told her no, and gently moved her hands away. Then she tried to grab my cell phone out of my hand. I asked her - “Where is your mommy or daddy?” and she looked at me with a blank stare. “You shouldn’t do that - I’m a stranger!” but still no response, and she finally walked away. I have to admit, I was a little shaken by that - I certainly wouldn’t my kid to do that to someone, and I was shocked at her audacity. The mom sitting to my right couldn’t believe it either, and we had a little chat about how some of the parents there were better at talking to each other rather than parenting their child.
A few minutes later, she came back. And tried to grab my phone again. And again I said “No!” and moved my hand out of the way. She then moved over to the mom sitting to my left and tried to grab her phone. That mom reacted the same way. The girl wandered off, and we all shared a conversation about this situation. So as I continue to watch my kid, I found that I was watching her more than my boy. He was contently playing in one spot, so I wasn’t worried about him, and I kept an eye on his whereabouts. But what I really wanted to know was who was this kid’s parents? She wasn’t running over or checking in with anyone - just going up to random people. It was at this point that me and the moms grew more concerned, and I decided that I needed to say something to the parent, if I could find them.
I finally saw her interact briefly with a man who said something to her. When I noticed the sparkly pink boots in his hands, I took a chance, and approached him. I asked him if she was his daughter, and he replied yes. So I told him - “I thought you should know then, that she’s approached a number of parents and tried to take their cell phones.” His reply was brief: “She’s autistic.” So I said: “OK, well I understand, but still, you might want to keep an eye on her since she is WALKING UP TO STRANGERS AND TRYING TO TAKE THEIR PHONES. It’s not just potentially unsafe for her, but it is really unnerving the other adults.” and he just replied with an “OK.”
Now, I have no clue what it is like to parent an autistic child. But I found his response to be unacceptable. When I got home this evening, Shiny thought I should have just gotten in this guy’s face and yelled: “STRANGER DANGER!!!!” I would think, that if this was my child, that I would have kept an extra special eye on my kid if he had special needs. Especially more so if he he had such inhabitions to walk up to unknown adults and try to take their stuff.
When we got home this evening, I had a conversation with the boy about what he should do if a stranger had walked up to him at the mall and tried to take his hand or give him something. I think he understood, but it is definately something we will be going over with him again. I don’t ever want to be the parent that another parent has to come talk to.